


Your Two-Step Makes My Chest Pound!

by iqopp



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Dancing, John and Merle are terrible at getting useful information out of each other, M/M, Parley, but hey at least they're having fun right?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24215176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iqopp/pseuds/iqopp
Summary: Everyone who enters the Legato Conservatory's plane of existence is subject to the Voidfish's broadcasts, and the Hunger is no exception. John has mixed feelings. Merle has a proposition.
Relationships: Merle Highchurch & The Hunger | John, Merle Highchurch/The Hunger | John
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Your Two-Step Makes My Chest Pound!

It’s the end of Cycle 48, and the year has come and gone without much fuss. The Starblaster crew found and recovered the Light of Creation within a few weeks of touching down on the prime material plane, so they were left largely to their own devices for the rest of the year. Taako spent the year weightlifting. Magnus cracked open a few (picture) books on conjuration magic. Merle, with Davenport’s help, invented a new fantasy card game that could be played start to finish without any verbal communication at all. With so little going on, Merle had been somewhat looking forward to Parley this year.

But John seems distracted. He plays sloppily, occasionally spacing out and staring hard at the chessboard without picking up a piece at all. At fifteen minutes in, Merle has already eliminated both of John’s knights and almost half of his pawns with few losses of his own. Something’s off.

“Hey, is something wrong, buddy? You seem real out of it.”

John blinks and looks up from the board at Merle, bishop in hand. “Hm?” Then he shakes his head and returns to contemplating his move. ”Oh, no, it’s nothing.”

Merle shakes a scolding finger. “Ah-ah, who was it that called this a ‘truth zone’?”

John sighs and places the bishop down on an empty square. “Okay, yes, I’m a bit preoccupied, but forget it, it’s silly. It’s not worth a question.”

“Y’sure? Sure seems like it’s botherin’ ya. If you’ve got something to say, say it, I won’t laugh!”

John looks at the dwarf, sitting with his arms folded in a comic imitation of sternness, bare feet dangling a good foot off the ground. He stares for a moment. Then he sighs and gives in.

“Were you always a...” He pauses, as if questioning his word choice. “...dancer, Merle?”

Merle blinks. “Huh?”

“When I consumed the last world— Legato, I believe? I—”

Something clicks in Merle’s head, and he laughs loudly. “Oh, _that!_ ”

John sighs. “So it was you. I'll admit, I almost didn't recognize you… fully clothed.”

“Ha! I’ll take that as a compliment. So even the Hunger’s subject to that crazy mountain’s broadcasts, huh?”

“...Yes, it would seem so.”

“Well, what’d ya think, Johnny?” Merle grins. “You could really feel the emotion, couldn’t you? The eternal struggle between man and man? Man and god?” John grimaces, but Merle continues. ”I really put my all into that, y’know. Spent a buttload o’ months perfecting it. Especially that tentacle part.” He wiggles his eyebrows. ”And the crowd _and_ the fish loved it! I’m pretty proud if I do say so myself.”

John clears his throat, embarrassed. ”Yes, it was...” He averts his eyes. “Quite a performance.”

Merle laughs. He picks up a pawn to continue the game, and assesses the board as he speaks. ”Well, anyway, to answer your question: Nah, not really. I mean, yeah, I love to dance, but I dunno about danc- _er_. I’ve never been what you’d call an expert. I was lucky to roll that 10!” He laughs again. “But hey, even without the professorship, being bad at it’s never stopped me. It’s all about feeling the music in your bones, y’know? Just havin’ a good time!” He finishes his move and looks up at John. “How ‘bout you, same question? You ever dance?”

John chuckles. “Me? No.” He takes a sip of water from a cup sat next to the chessboard and pauses. “Well… okay, that’s not entirely true.”

Merle raises his eyebrows.

John continues, ”I _have_ danced before, I suppose. At social functions where it was necessary. One of my higher profile gigs as a motivational speaker took me to a gala in which I was obligated to participate, and I vaguely recall taking a few classes in waltz to prepare for the event.” He shakes his head. “It was never my forte, though. From an artistic perspective I wasn’t particularly good at it, and like most people I preferred not to embarrass myself with clumsy performances when I could avoid it… and, well.” He scoffs. “From a social perspective I never understood the value of it, anyway. Dragging another person around, breathing on them in such close quarters, the constant risk of stepping on their feet or otherwise causing injury? I would be surprised if dancing with a partner doesn’t break more bonds than it builds. And of course dancing by yourself opens you up to an entirely new realm of ridicule.”

He’s about to move the bishop to capture Merle’s pawn when he’s broken from his train of thought by the awareness of eyes boring into him. He looks up to see Merle staring at him severely. “What?” John says.

“Shit, John… I know you’ve got a bad gloomy streak, but I think that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard you say!”

John frowns, indignant. He puts down his piece. “Why do you say that?”

“What’d’ya mean, _why_?” Merle scoots back in his chair. “I mean yeah, I get being bad at all the formal stuff, but are you saying you don’t enjoy just moving to the music? Ain’t you ever held someone special in your arms and danced the night away? Even just a little bit? Come on, John, it’s— shit, it’s magical!”

John raises an eyebrow. “I think you’re overselling it. And how exactly does one dance the night away ‘just a little bit’?”

“Ah, you know what I mean!” Merle waves a hand and fixes him with a stern look. “You’re missing out, John, I’m tellin’ ya! My crew and I are busy with all this ‘saving the world’ stuff most of the time, but we can hold a mean shindig when we feel like it, and hell, if it weren’t for you being our mortal enemy and all I’d invite ya next time!”

John cracks a half-smile. “Somehow that doesn’t sound like an invitation I’ll have the pleasure of accepting anytime soon.”

Merle laughs. “Yeah, well, we’ll think of something.”

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so I've already had most of the second half of this written for over a year but I keep putting off finishing it... so I'm posting the first half to motivate myself! (story and chapter titles are lyrics from I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by Scissor Sisters!)


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